bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is my gift to your gina
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
