How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
