You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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