last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
