...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
