i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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