Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's shark week go big or go home
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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