okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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