Do you still have your period?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
