he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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