I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
babies were throwing up all over the place
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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