I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
