no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
