Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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