she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
