I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
