That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
