i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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