careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
