Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
