Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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