I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
