So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
