i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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