I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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