i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
