We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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