I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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