i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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