Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
