Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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