Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
