why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
