JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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