Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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