kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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