Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
