I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
