lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize