Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
