PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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