His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
All I want is dick and wine.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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