Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
