I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
