I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
