dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
