Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
