What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
