Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize