i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
In America we eat man semen.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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