yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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