they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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