Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
