That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
