well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
