belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
