about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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