Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
PANTIES FOUND
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
