let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize